What? Did you just sass me? I'm going to call Santa.
I said, it's bedtime. No more getting up, or I will call Santa.
Stop hitting your sister this minute, mister. I mean it! That's it, I'm calling Santa.
And you know what? It works like a charm EVERY TIME. They usually come back with No, please, PLEASE, don't call Santa. I'll be good. I'll be a good listener. I'm [insert original parental request here] right now, see? And just like that the tears dry up, the fits cease, and smiles draw themselves across their little cherub faces.
The coolest part about this whole gig is that now (thank you, advances in modern technology!) Santa can call THEM. Because, you know, like the song says, he knows when they've been bad or good. And like everything else, there is an app for that--and it's free! Check this:
Santa's Magic Phone Call
By Appventors LLC
Available for both iPhone and Android devices.
Taken from Boston.com:
Build stronger character in your child with Santa's help. Choose from a
wide assortment of over 50 messages that reinforce your child's good behavior
and successes, (the "nice" calls) and modify negative behavior with gentle
messages, (the "naughty" calls). There's an abundance of message categories
including working on manners, potty training, healthy eating, chores, and more.
Personalize messages even further by disguising your voice as his faithful elf
assistant Milo. Milo will add details into the call that will astonish your
child. Positive reinforcement is the heart of each message.
For early readers, a text message can also be included for any
situation. The Santa's Magic Phone Call app is always ready and children
can call over and over again. No airtime or data minutes are used, as these are
not live calls.
New this year is the Video Wish Lists! Secretly record video of your child
chatting with Santa, talking about so much more than a quick (and sometimes
scary) visit on his knee at the mall. Parents can play it back for a sneaky peek
at just what's on the little one's mind. With one click, they can then also post
the video to Facebook so Grandparents and everyone can get in on the fun! When
you email the Video Wish List to yourself, you have a wonderful keepsake.
To create even greater incentive, Santa's Magic Phone Call added a new clever
Star Rewards system. Children can earn stars for all "nice" calls, or lose stars
if a parent requests Santa to deliver a certain message from the "naughty"
dialogues. They will love keeping track with the Star Rewards system and it
helps to modify behavior. Use it to keep children engaged during the hustle and
bustle of the holidays.
Now what will I do come December 26th? I'll be screwed, that's what. At least until we approach Easter. Then I can threaten to tell the Easter Bunny, maybe. Or I can just spank their asses.