As I mentioned earlier this week, today's our wedding anniversary! Although we won't be officially celebrating for another week (timing, etc), it's nice to take a moment to say, "Hey, high five, we're both still standing, and by the way, I dig your shit."
Four kids, a dog, worn patience, demanding jobs, and well, life in general, can wear a mofo down. It's amazing how priorities before kids change so drastically after kids--as they should. We just often aren't aware of the change as it's happening. We see it, but it's more like the way we see scenery out of the passenger side car window as we're doing 80 mph down the interstate (I mean, 65, officer. Totally mean 65). We see the landscape flying by, but we're not really paying attention. Things get taken for granted. And that sucks. No one likes being taken for granted.
Like so many parents out there, our routine is hectic. Sometimes, we're only able to lock eyes for a few seconds and give each other a knowing nod from across the room as the dog is barking and being chased by the two little ones, who are simultaneously squealing at the top of their lungs and screaming in frustration at the other. All the while, one of the older ones is asking about dinner and the other just happens to mention a major project that is due the next morning that has yet to be started.
This is where we usually need a time out. We need Sting. We need Sting right now or all hell will break loose in this house. Then we go to work trying to rein in the chaos as we approach the sacred hour: BEDTIME FOR WEE FOLK. We call out to each other like pro medical professionals as we take turns with the requirements that have become part of the nighttime ritual, handing off to each other what is needed to wrap these babies up and put them to bed, literally.
Diaper. Diaper.
PJ's. PJ's.
Pandora. Accessing.
Story time. On it.
And if the kiddie craziness and workday woes haven't turned our moods sour, we're left exhausted. I can't tell you how many times we have attempted to have some cuddle time on the couch while watching a movie, only to wake up at 1 am and realize we only made it through the first 10 mins before passing out. I know, we're pathetic, right?
The point is, it is constantly a work in progress...damnit. No one tells us that beforehand. It is inferred--and sometimes said straight out--that when you find the right person, it is effortless, dreamlike, planets are in perfect alignment, angels sing, and everything is slow motion running toward each other across meadows and happily ever after. Bullshit. It takes great effort to try to keep the other from feeling that they're taken for granted, because often by the time we get to US on that post-kids priority list, our tanks are running on empty. That's real love, baby. Keeping at it when you have nothing left, because you CHOOSE to...because it's worth it...and trust me, we don't always nail this.
Here's the bare naked truth: We're not perfect. We have ups and downs just like everyone else, and we sometimes drive each other crazy. We sometimes let very silly things gain too much steam, and sometimes we don't give the big things enough care...BUT we make each other laugh, we have fun together, and we get each other in a way no one else does. And this is where I'd insert a clip of You Light Up My Life, but I wouldn't want to you to go into your weekend with nausea.
So, I feel this is more appropriate:
http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/view?i=596023616&m=3465&rr=z
Have a funky weekend!
Four kids, a dog, worn patience, demanding jobs, and well, life in general, can wear a mofo down. It's amazing how priorities before kids change so drastically after kids--as they should. We just often aren't aware of the change as it's happening. We see it, but it's more like the way we see scenery out of the passenger side car window as we're doing 80 mph down the interstate (I mean, 65, officer. Totally mean 65). We see the landscape flying by, but we're not really paying attention. Things get taken for granted. And that sucks. No one likes being taken for granted.
Like so many parents out there, our routine is hectic. Sometimes, we're only able to lock eyes for a few seconds and give each other a knowing nod from across the room as the dog is barking and being chased by the two little ones, who are simultaneously squealing at the top of their lungs and screaming in frustration at the other. All the while, one of the older ones is asking about dinner and the other just happens to mention a major project that is due the next morning that has yet to be started.
This is where we usually need a time out. We need Sting. We need Sting right now or all hell will break loose in this house. Then we go to work trying to rein in the chaos as we approach the sacred hour: BEDTIME FOR WEE FOLK. We call out to each other like pro medical professionals as we take turns with the requirements that have become part of the nighttime ritual, handing off to each other what is needed to wrap these babies up and put them to bed, literally.
Diaper. Diaper.
PJ's. PJ's.
Pandora. Accessing.
Story time. On it.
And if the kiddie craziness and workday woes haven't turned our moods sour, we're left exhausted. I can't tell you how many times we have attempted to have some cuddle time on the couch while watching a movie, only to wake up at 1 am and realize we only made it through the first 10 mins before passing out. I know, we're pathetic, right?
The point is, it is constantly a work in progress...damnit. No one tells us that beforehand. It is inferred--and sometimes said straight out--that when you find the right person, it is effortless, dreamlike, planets are in perfect alignment, angels sing, and everything is slow motion running toward each other across meadows and happily ever after. Bullshit. It takes great effort to try to keep the other from feeling that they're taken for granted, because often by the time we get to US on that post-kids priority list, our tanks are running on empty. That's real love, baby. Keeping at it when you have nothing left, because you CHOOSE to...because it's worth it...and trust me, we don't always nail this.
Here's the bare naked truth: We're not perfect. We have ups and downs just like everyone else, and we sometimes drive each other crazy. We sometimes let very silly things gain too much steam, and sometimes we don't give the big things enough care...BUT we make each other laugh, we have fun together, and we get each other in a way no one else does. And this is where I'd insert a clip of You Light Up My Life, but I wouldn't want to you to go into your weekend with nausea.
So, I feel this is more appropriate:
http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/view?i=596023616&m=3465&rr=z
Have a funky weekend!