I was shopping for my candy picks for this year, and I happened to gaze upon stacks--STACKS!--of peanut butter kisses on display. Not only did I scoff, but I was truly tempted to pull those bags aside and hide them deep in the ladies underwear section. Something about a peanut butter kiss beckons a force not to be reckoned with.
Not to be a candy snob here, but don't be the A-hole (that's right, capital A) that gives these out on Halloween. Either decide not to give out candy and turn your porch light off (and consequently be cursed in child language--doodyhead--and in all likelihood have your house tp'd) or commit to the idea fully and splurge with an extra BUCK to get something that is actually able to be digested in this decade.
I'm pretty sure these are the candies that are immediately thrown in the trash once mom or dad does the safety inspection of the take at the end of the night. Or for those fateful few that unsuspectingly make an attempt at mastication, the clumps of peanut flavored epoxy still end up discarded but this time with victims' teeth deeply embedded, forever fossilized, serving as proof of battles waged and lost. Jack o' lanterns everywhere mocking them and their now missing teeth. Damn those p'nut butter kisses of death.
Psssst- And to those of you giving out Almond Joys and Mounds, THANK YOU! You know who you are. And you know no kid eats those coconutty creations. Those are adult candy bars, and only a person truly dedicated to the Nov. 1st Parents' Club, would make such donations to the cause. Keep up the good work.
What do you consider to be awful or inedible candy? What do you hope to score from your kids' bags?